...and We're Back! (The Good, The Bad and the Ugly)

It was suggested I wait a few days or even a week before posting this, but when have I been known to listen to suggestions? I wrote this on Monday, but being the slacker that I am I finally found the right pictures (two are not mine, you can determine which one it is).

I am back from NYC after three whirlwind days of traipsing around Midtown, Central Park and Murray Hill. Borrowing a format from my friend MommysStillFab I decided to bypass my normal diatribes and go with this.

The Good

• Seeing Central Park by foot and rickshaw
• Viewing Lower Manhattan 86 floors up in the Empire State Building
• Midtown, in all it's touristia-chic it's a lovely place
• Radio City Music Hall, the place has got to be one of the best places to ever see a concert in
• I'm pretty sure I sat where a Broadway star sat during the Tony's the week before
• My last boy band concert for a long while
• How quickly taxi drivers got to places
• No Sales Tax on clothing, what?!
• Starbucks on every corner
• Seeing a college friend I hadn't seen in over a decade
• Red Mango frozen yogurt. YUM! YUM! YUM!
• Being able to stay in an apt for free instead of paying a lot of money for a hotel room

The Bad

• Trash on the street at night
• The potential to run into rats with balls, ew!
• Not being able to get a taxi easily
• Lack of cleanliness in the subways
• Little sleep

The Ugly

• Patty with little sleep after three days
• and I'll leave it at that.

Big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York

Going to NYC in three days with a sprained foot. Walking down steps and talking at the same time, fail. Will that stop me? Hell no! Will I utilize the douchey Segway? Hell no! Will I be slow? Oh yes. I can envision grandma and her walker passing me by.

I believe the five of us that are going may have different agendas for NYC (minus our concert attending nights), but that's a-ok! Having properly googled and asked around I've compiled a list of things/places I want to visit. Stoked is a word that keeps popping into my mind when I think about these things.

My list of places to see while I'm in NYC:

• Gray's Papaya
• Grammercy Park
• Empire State Building
• Museum of Sex
• Radio City Music Hall
• Central Park - Alice in Wonderland statue
• Central Park - Balcony Bridge
• Central Park - Belvedere Castle

I am fairly confident even with my big gimpin' I'll be able to cover these in two days which leaves a third day for mystery pahtying. WooHoo!

Why Can't I Quit You?

I've reached a new low tonight, when I rushed my dad (I was informed by my mother I haven't talked to him in 2 weeks and he's lonely -- via text she sent this) off the phone so I could get to my...

Bejeweled Blitz.

I hear you judging me, shut your mouth. You're jealous because you cannot score the top scores I now have learned to wield against my opponents. Yes, those opponents are my friends, but there are no friends in war. (I just had to take a break and go blitz some more, all this talk makes me want to do it more.) As I was blitzing I realized that I rushed my poor old pops off the phone to play because I cannot properly blitz and talk at the same time. This is also why I turned FB chat off, I can't have people trying to talk to me during a game! As if.

Have any of you seen Bejeweled Blitz Anonymous groups on Facebook? I think I need help or someone to show me how to score 500,000...whichever.

Burden of Proof

Over the weekend my friend and I got into a heated discussion about what neighborhood she worked in. I told her she worked in Lincoln Park. She decided to argue with me and say it was Lakeview.

At this I laughed, it was cute, she was trying to tell me I was wrong. I know the area, I know exactly where she works and she works no where near Lakeview. She even tried to tell me there were signs around the area stating Lakeview. I laughed again and said to her, "I know I'm right and you're continuing to argue with me about it. At this point the burden of proof lies with you. I don't need convincing, I know I'm right."

Well I forgot about it and the next day she tells me, "you were right." I forgot what I was right about, because well...my mind hasn't gotten capacity for things unless someone refreshes me. "Of course I was, about what?" "I work in Lincoln Park." "Yes, I know this." Then it dawns on me the argument we had the day before. She proceeds to tell me that the signs she remembers seeing were on the way to work and not exactly around where she works.

Here's why I knew I was right, I've been shopping in that area for years and loved that section of the Lincoln Park neighborhood known as Sheffield Gardens. No one messes with me and shopping, I can always get to the mothership. Recognize.

Moral of the story, arguing with me is pointless. Either I think I'm right, most times when I'm that adamant I am and I will put the burden of proof on you. Or, I'll forget and won't care what the argument is about and you bringing it up is childish, the argument is over. So I win either way.

"You've been hit by a...

harasser. I was just bombarded by a harasser. I am usually the harasser. How did this happen? When did I let my guard down? Damnit!

The harassment was called for, not going to lie. I've been pretty cranks lately and it's quite possible it stems from my weight. Though I think the part when I quit smoking, been sick for 4 weeks straight (I've haven't been able to breathe without snot oozing from my nose for 4 weeks), found out my scale is 20 lbs. off and not in my favor, and my deadline to find a new job is approaching. So forgive me if I'm a little cranky and can't deal with any additional bullshit. I have some stuff going on in my head that only food seems to cure.

I get it though. Not healthy. If coke was around, I might be able to switch to something else, but damnit food rocks. So in order to stop the harassment, because it won't stop ever. This bitch has a frakkin' black belt in harassment, she probably even has a dojo where she's teaching others how to harass people into submission. If only they would use their powers for good.

So good-bye fries of love, good-bye Hostess treats of delight, good-bye cheesey treasures of goodness, good-bye hot doggy lovelies we had a fun run these last 3 years. I'll miss you. Remember the good times we had as I masticated you repeatedly before swallowing.

Does this mean I have to give up my lattes too? Fuck.

A Month Off and Nothing to Show For It

So I've been out of school for a little over a month now. Has my attitude changed? Eh. Has my mood improved? Slightly, though the vacation had a bigger impact on that.

What I've perfected, sleeping. It make take me several rituals and a sacrifice or two, but once I'm asleep...oh by golly I'm asleep.

I've vacayed in Arizona for a week of pure bliss with my own blood waitstaff (mom and dad). Though they are slow and unwilling at times, we struck a nice compromise during my stay. It's always nice to go home and spend time with the old folks, they move at a much slower pace so I don't have to drink as much caffeine to keep up.

Looking for a new job? Eh...I get the postings, but I have yet to break my lazy streak and actually update my resume. I'm sure my current employer would be happy to know that I've been keeping my word...in case they decide to google me.

Where to go next? This is the question that plagues me like the herps on prom night. While most of the people I know on Earth live in Illinois, my heart cannot stand being here. Can I convince everyone to move to California? Would I want them to? Can we take over a city/town and the Californians not riot in the street or set their belongings on fire? I am mentally equipped to do one of the following jobs: Producer, Personal Assistant, Project Manager or T.V. writer.

Just thoughts, many many thoughts. I only have four months and a lot of work to do, so I should stop blogging and get to work.

Observations Made Whilst in the City

• Did I miss the memo about North Face being superior? I checked the stores and the shit looks exactly like LL Bean.
• Just because you can cut in front of me, doesn't mean you should. I am totally capable of spitting in your hair, my lack of projection skillz prohibits me from doing so currently...I'm working on it.
• Quirky does not mean stylish.
• I don't like people, I'll talk to them, but generally I don't like people. I will compile a list of superior creatures at a later date.
• A wait staff is crucial to me being a nicer person.
• I should have majored in Business and Computers and Healthcare in college.
• I should have also partied a lot less or maybe integrated some Harvard peeps.