12 days, that's how many days of school hell I have left. TWELVE DAYS!
Terrified. Excited. Anxious. Ready. You have an emotion, I've probably felt it just living through the past 6 weeks. I want to be done, just done with classes. I need a break a very, very, very long break. (Though can I tell you my sick, demented ass started plotting what language I was going to learn next. What.Is.Wrong.With.Me?)
Listen up folks cause I'm going to say this once! I turn down drinking invites because I'm afraid once I start I won't be able to stop and I have gone this long and this far to only turn into the raging alcoholic I know I can be. My college friends they know, they've seen me at my most drunk and destructive of phases. Amazingly enough they're still my friends. I must be a special brand of drunken asshole or a hilarious spectacle of how not to act. So the "I'm offended" act doesn't bode well with me, I have a lot on my plate that I juggle with my procrastination habit, my future alcoholism that I've managed to channel to food (that shit's got to stop ASAP), and three years of being a nice and good girl.
In twelve days, I come out to play.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
I Love Men - Expanded Edition
Would I ever date any of them? Come on! I'm 32! I left boys behind when I left my 20s, but damnit I can still appreciate the hell out of them. Gay, straight, blondes, brunettes, short, tall, slim, chunky...I only have two requirements. 1. You better be cute, like God likes you kind of cute. 2. Don't be stupid, the kind of stupid where I question if you were dropped on your head multiple times. 3. Be somewhatt interesting. See! My requirements are not high!
Below though are men who boys should achieve to be or look like. Consider this my version of Maxim. The Top5 8 10 11 of My List are (drum roll please). I was told I missed someone (McBossy let me know) and then I remembered my other love of my life. So without further ado, here's the expanded edition of I Love Men.
11. Adam Levine
This beautiful man's voice, hilarity, honesty (I presume based on the few articles I've read) and his extremely gorgeous self should have been on the original list. There are a lot of beautiful men in the world, forgive me.
10. Ryan Reynolds
Welcome back to the list Ryan. He's Ryan Reynolds, enough said.
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7. Alexander Skarsgard
Honey you would have been closer to #1 if you weren't dating the child freak. Yeah, he's dating Evan Rachel Wood, the one who dated Marilyn Manson and a slew of other older men. Time for the pysch eval sweetheart you have daddy issues. Oh Alexander, you were so beautiful, but the moment you started dating what's her face I had to take you off the list, sorry.
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Below though are men who boys should achieve to be or look like. Consider this my version of Maxim. The Top
11. Adam Levine
This beautiful man's voice, hilarity, honesty (I presume based on the few articles I've read) and his extremely gorgeous self should have been on the original list. There are a lot of beautiful men in the world, forgive me.
10. Ryan Reynolds
Welcome back to the list Ryan. He's Ryan Reynolds, enough said.
9. Tahmoh Penikett
Oh wow, he's Helo (Battlestar Galactica) and Paul Ballard (Dollhouse), most importantly he's Canadian. I do love Canadian men. Why can't Canada try to invade us? Did I just type that?
8. Alex O'Loughlin
Two Alexs in a row? Yes, because this is my list damnit. I have international love, this Aussie is SMOKIN' HOT! The upcoming Gerard Butler if you will. Watch Moonlight or Three Rivers on CBS and you'll see. Look at that FACE! It's such a good face! Le sigh. I need to bump him up to #2 or #3, screw numbers I will take them all in any order.
 |
| Demoted. |
6. Akiva Schaffer
He's 1/3 of the Lonely Island, he's cute, scrappy, smart, cute...shut your pie hole! I happen to like them a little nerdy. Just seeing his face makes me smile and that's enough.
5. Gerard Butler
He's Scottish, fine, can sing, he's fine, smart...COME ON!
4. Neil Patrick Harris
Good God ya'll! He's NPH! He sings, dances, acts, is hilarious, he was Doogie, and look at that smile...his boyfriend is so lucky.
3. Jonathan R. Knight
YUMMMMMMMMM, he's a NKOTB do I really have to say anymore other than his being is a copy image of my own.
2. Jensen Ackles
He's Dean Winchester, he's beauuuuutiful and plays a man's man bad ass on Supernatural.
1. Keanu Reeves
Oh hell folks, this is Keanu (the love of my life) Reeves. This is how I ALWAYS see him.
I borrowed these pictures from other websites, because if I had my own pictures I wouldn't be sharing them here with you. I'd frame that shit and put it on my stalkerwall mantle.
Soothing the savage beech
On September 13th, 2009 I saw U2 in Soldier Field and it was magnificient. The show, the music, the atmosphere...I was all spectacular.
If I was a music writer I would be able to tell you the setlist, the lighting, the effects, but I'm not. Deal with it.
One is by far my favorite U2 song, it stirs warm happy emotions inside me that I'm pretty sure I thought were suppressed deep within what remains of my soul. It makes me want to hug strangers and be nice to the incredibly stupid. There was this chick that crowded into my stolen space (we had General Admission tickets and never made it down to GA, after deeming we were too special to stand there we instead stood behind the $250 seats) and tried to side booty bump me over. 1) oh hell no! 2) I turned and stared at her as I was talking to the people I was with "who the hell does this bitch think she is?" (no, she didn't turn to look at me until I stopped staring at her. Apparently, staring directly at me will be taken as a challenge and I never back down. Beeches always look away first.) 3) wait...is that U2? Is that One? Oh...I should be nicer to people, maybe she was raised by really ignorant people. I will smile at her as we sway side to side listening and singing...
"Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One"
That beech got to stand next to me for the rest of the concert without me glaring at her. The concert was in typical Bono-style...full of heart felt melodies, trying to change the world, and an alien space ship.
If I was a music writer I would be able to tell you the setlist, the lighting, the effects, but I'm not. Deal with it.
One is by far my favorite U2 song, it stirs warm happy emotions inside me that I'm pretty sure I thought were suppressed deep within what remains of my soul. It makes me want to hug strangers and be nice to the incredibly stupid. There was this chick that crowded into my stolen space (we had General Admission tickets and never made it down to GA, after deeming we were too special to stand there we instead stood behind the $250 seats) and tried to side booty bump me over. 1) oh hell no! 2) I turned and stared at her as I was talking to the people I was with "who the hell does this bitch think she is?" (no, she didn't turn to look at me until I stopped staring at her. Apparently, staring directly at me will be taken as a challenge and I never back down. Beeches always look away first.) 3) wait...is that U2? Is that One? Oh...I should be nicer to people, maybe she was raised by really ignorant people. I will smile at her as we sway side to side listening and singing...
"Is it getting better
Or do you feel the same
Will it make it easier on you now
You got someone to blame
You say...
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it
Did I disappoint you
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without
Well it's...
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...
Have you come here for forgiveness
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus
To the lepers in your head
Did I ask too much
More than a lot
You gave me nothing
Now it's all I got
We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again
You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law
You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt
One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One...life
One"
That beech got to stand next to me for the rest of the concert without me glaring at her. The concert was in typical Bono-style...full of heart felt melodies, trying to change the world, and an alien space ship.
Book Review: I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell
A few years ago a friend of mine suggested I read a book title "I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell" by Tucker Max. She said it was funny and that her and her boyfriend were reading it together. So here I am in the checkout line with this book in my hand thinking, "ugh! I'm not reading any book that they're reading together. What kind of kama sutra shit is this?" I put the book back down and continue with my purchases.
After I was pissed off at Borders downtown I decided to buy some books. I see the Buy 1, Get 1 Half Off and figured I deserve some laughs and an expensive taxi ride home to make up for the failed book purchases (I went there to get a textbook that no one seemed to find even though their jacked up computer system said it was in stock.) That's how this book ended up in my hands.
I started reading it and throughout I would be torn between laughing my ass off to thinking that the biggest asshole on the planet wrote a book. Through it all though, I could appreciate a few things, he didn't lie. He admits what size of an asshole he is and was. There are a few points that he states and which I have been saying for over a decade. Women who fuck around with assholes have serious self-esteem issues and/or daddy issues. My friends who don't have these issues don't stick around to get mentally fucked by some idiot who has self-esteem and/or daddy issues of his own which is why he's such a fucking dick.
No excuses though, so if you want a few laughs go to the library and borrow it, owning it really just makes you feel like you're setting back the feminist movement back decades. The best stories involve SlingBlade, those are the ones that almost made me fall out of my El seat laughing.
After I was pissed off at Borders downtown I decided to buy some books. I see the Buy 1, Get 1 Half Off and figured I deserve some laughs and an expensive taxi ride home to make up for the failed book purchases (I went there to get a textbook that no one seemed to find even though their jacked up computer system said it was in stock.) That's how this book ended up in my hands.
I started reading it and throughout I would be torn between laughing my ass off to thinking that the biggest asshole on the planet wrote a book. Through it all though, I could appreciate a few things, he didn't lie. He admits what size of an asshole he is and was. There are a few points that he states and which I have been saying for over a decade. Women who fuck around with assholes have serious self-esteem issues and/or daddy issues. My friends who don't have these issues don't stick around to get mentally fucked by some idiot who has self-esteem and/or daddy issues of his own which is why he's such a fucking dick.
No excuses though, so if you want a few laughs go to the library and borrow it, owning it really just makes you feel like you're setting back the feminist movement back decades. The best stories involve SlingBlade, those are the ones that almost made me fall out of my El seat laughing.
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