Miss Manners Presents...How Not to Look Like an Ahole at Dinner

Here are what I feel a few suggestions that I think some people may have forgotten about.

Now I know people are going to go, "What?! (Who) these are not that bad. In fact I do them." To that I respond, "Yes they are and I know you do." It's kind of like the nose picker who turns their head thinking no one can see them doing it, we can. This is not assuming you are trying to purposely look like an asshole, we all have ticks. Mine is voicing my opinion constantly, I'm half-heartedly working on that.

Things That Make You Look Like an Asshole at Dinner:

• Taking calls at the table
• Constantly looking at other people instead of engaging with the people you're dining with
• Playing with your mobile phone, whether this is text messaging or even playing a game
• Grooming yourself at the table, there's a bathroom, go use it
• Picking food off my plate while I'm eating from it
• Tipping poorly, don't look to see what someone else tipped if the bill is split, tip your 15 - 20% or more unless service was horrible

The Rationale: 
Courtesy Factors
 When you do the first three items you're basically telling the people you're with that their company is not either engaging enough for you, you are throwing them a bone even being in their presence, or they are just not that important. I'm going to tell you this now, your crap stinks cause your farts keep giving you away. You are not that important that you as a person can afford to lose friends and lose friends you will. It's only a matter of time before anyone of substance will no longer tolerate this kind of behavior and stop associating with you. Imagine if you will the shoes were reversed.

Plus, when you do these things it's being quite anti-social and why did you even agree to have a meal with anyone if that's what you're going to do? Save your money, time and energy and make a sandwich at home.

Don't Be Rude Factors
The fourth and fifth points just gross me out when people comb their hair where I'm eating and I don't gross out easily. I don't need your dandruff peppering my food. As for eating off my plate, this will practically get you an entire meal for free AND I will never eat with you again. Here's why, you made a decision about what you wanted to eat, so did I. Just because you chose poorly doesn't mean I should have to offer up my plate to you. This is not to say if I offer up my plate for you to sample or partake of that you cannot. This is either asking me for a "bite" or just plain ole grabbing food off my plate. Do me the courtesy of offering it to you if I feel inclined. Rude.

As for the last point about tipping, don't go to dinner if you can't afford to tip the people who are serving your food.

Just because I put dinner doesn't mean any meal doesn't apply.

This has been lovely, but I have work that requires my attention.