Inspiration is everywhere, you just have to open your eyes

For me, inspiration ebbs and flows like the giant lake a couple of blocks away from my apartment.

When it ebbs I feel lonely like the world has found me the most wicked creature to walk the planet and have turned their backs on me. Though when it flows, I am the smartest girl in the universe and no one can find anyone more clever than I.

The internet is proving to be my great and mighty muse. Today, I decided to follow the path from Neil Gaiman's blog to this wonderful comic to this brilliant, inspiring, genius speech Neil Gaiman gave at the University of Arts in Philadelphia.

Make Good Art everyone.

I Can't Believe I Said That

You ever think something that lead to a response you didn't think you were capable of stating to anyone else. Like it's a shameful secret.

A thought popped into my head and I sent a note via gChat to a friend of mine and asked her, "Do you ever wonder if you would be friends with yourself?" After a short exchange of the kind of person I would hang out with I stated, "I can't do ugly."

I know what you're thinking, douche bag! Being honest here after a couple of beats I thought the same thing. Though, I never did define what ugly was. Does that let me off the hook?

"Dreams are how we figure out where we want to go. Life is how we get there."

- Kermit the Frog
Before You Leap

Did that really just happen?

I shaved my legs less than an hour ago and I got a chill and now my legs feel like I've done nothing to them.

And yes I do go around feeling up my leg, so do you so back off.

Is it to early to plan my Halloween costume?

Screw it if it is. I'm planning on being a female Malcolm Reynolds for Halloween. Dare I call her Madeline Reynolds? Costume shouldn't be too difficult to create, right? Where's a brown trench coat?

He's so bad ass.

Life of a City Spinster

What do you do when you fall asleep before 7pm and wake up before 5am? Why read and clean of course. I still can't believe I did that.

Who's that Girl?

I've never been into Dungeons & Dragons, though I find the concept intriguing. Spending money on all the tools to play that game and costumes...I can't, well not right now at least. The next activity involves finding your character name and attributes. Hardwick calls it the Character Page.

What's In a Name?
After I hunted it down (I didn't understand how to work the D&D page so I just did a search for "Name Generator" and there it appeared. I launched the generator, answered a few questions and BANG! My name appeared.

I am Lady Pruuvial Falconsflight, I am a half-elf Sorcereress Scribe of noble blood. I better be of noble blood or Pruuvial will just sound ridiculous. This may have been the most fun so far. Pssshhh what wish list?

What You're Made Of
Attributes, this came the stuff people are made of. He listed six to assess yourself on: Intelligence, Charisma, Strength, Wisdom, Will and Confidence.

After much hemming and hawing and deep soul searching for four minutes I came up with the following.

Intelligence - 3
Charisma - 3
Strength - 1
Wisdom - 4
Will - 3
Confidence -2

The book has some examples and such, check it out if you want more info. So that's where I stand as of right now. I need a lot more strength and have ways to go in leveling up.

Next up...Alignment and Weapons your place in this world and how you're armed to face it.

The Wish List

The Nerdist Way has you doing what it refers to as Nerd Mapping. This is essentially a wish list. At first I thought EASY! Then I got to thinking...not so easy. It took a couple of hours to come up with this very superficial list. There's another aspect that takes longer, determining timing.

Hardwick suggests using graph paper, well...I just so happen to have a notebook that is lined on one side and graph lined on the other. My friend J has some foresight when she bought me this notebook. Thanks J!

Here is my list, I thought 4 years would be plenty of time to get everything...I hope.

Kismet's Circus Wish Mapping

1. To be happy (stop judging, it should be everyone's #1)
2. To weigh 130 lbs
3. To be debt free (minus my student loans)
4. A Queen size bed with brass headboard
5. To finish writing a novel
6. To finish writing a script
7. To have a creative writing job
8. [redacted]
9. To visit Portland, Astoria, Seattle & Vancouver
10. To go to San Diego ComiCon
11. To drive on Superstition Highway
12. To drive through the Valley of the Gods
13. To read every book I own
14. Learn how to read/write/speak Korean and Spanish
15. Become a PMP
16. To be an expert archer
17. To be skilled in Muay Thai

There you have it. Now the timing on the graph I used 3 month intervals, these are big wishes so it's going to take some time.

The Nerdist Way but Through Me

I picked up the Nerdist Way by Chris Hardwick back in November as a HAPPY BIRTHDAY gift to myself because what better way to say, "congratulations on being proof your parents had sex" than a gift to help ease the gross image from my brain.

Two months later, I'm now actively reading the book. I have laughed and giggled so many times the past few days and reread entire sections. Since one of my goals for this year is to write more, what better way than to work through that book than to blog about me "leveling up". I shall try to be completely honest, but there are some things that don't need to be out there on the internet for the world to see at which point you'll see [redacted] (learned that word while reading the [redacted] blog that is currently blocked now by Blogger).

Come along for the ride, let's see if this takes us anywhere.



Questions you may have asked while reading that post:

What does actively reading mean? That means I've stopped thumbing through it, reading small portions here and there, and starting to read it from the beginning working my way to the end.


How old were you when you learned the word redacted? Old enough to know better, stop judging me.

What's Going On My World

I'm trying to catch up on what's going on in the world a little at a time. Let's face it, it's rather large and there are lots of activities.

However, in a space that's closer to me and a country I call home, America is changing. I believe it's because we as a people, society, culture are changing. Change never happens suddenly nor does it always happen smoothly or peacefully. Sometimes it happens in starts and stops, imagine if you will being on a bus in a major city. How the bus swerves and jerks, that's how change feels sometimes. That's what my country is going through.

I feel this is a good thing. Change is good. Change shows growth and adaption. There are some that like things the way they were, some don't. In the end a compromise will need to be made on everyone's part to ensure the continuity of this society. It won't be easy and it definitely won't be quick, though right now I feel we can make it through together.

To anyone who's reading this, I may not always agree with you, I may not always follow you, hell, I may not always like you. However, you're in this ride with me and I'll try to do my best not to hit you. Hey! That's all I can promise this late at night.

Sleeping Soap Operas

The past two nights I've had some very vivid dreams and I wonder if it has to do with the past couple of days: moving and my cat Pompey dying.

Last night I dreamed I was in a doctor's office (I think) and they were finding there were dead snakes inside me. Gross and disturbing. Looked it up and it has to do with grief and changes. Ok makes sense.

The night before I was walking down this hallway backstage in a theater. I was dressed in a formal gown and I looked damn good. Walking with me was Nikki Sixx and he was dressed in a black suit and he was a younger version of himself. I was holding onto his arm walking very solemly. I knew I was married to a famous rock star whose name and face never appeared in the dream. However, I knew he was cheating on me with a blonde woman. None of our friends would confirm with me my suspicions even though I knew it. While walking down this hallway leaving this formal place I started crying that I had married such a shit of a person that would do this to me.

Nikki comforted me as I was crying and I thought why didn't I marry someone like him instead, so stupid. He said to me, "don't let them see it broke you. They're looking for it, they need to see it broke you, don't give it to them."

What did I learn? I think I may have a thing for bad boys.

Inspiration Strikes

Best story idea this month is when I imagined what would happen if DD and my friend CAR's daughter were the same age and became friends.

It's gold is what that is. Based on actual events, but enough will be changed to be fictionalized, when I'm done I'll post. I'm calling it the League of Extraordinarily Twisted Gentlepeople and Others (LETGO).

Writing

For a long time I've struggled with the concept of who writers were. Are we talking people whose sole occupation is writing for a living? Someone who enjoys writing? Do you need to be published to be a writer? Does consistency of time spent play a factor? Should you have a degree in literature or creative writing?

I have written a screenplay, over two dozen short stories, over a hundred poems (a phase I've since morphed out of as it was all angst filled, teenage emotions), 100+ blog posts and several attempts at a novel. None of them published, though my writing teachers seemed to like what I wrote (not that I paid them or anything of the sort). Does that make me a writer?

All this effort to define something I knew. Yes, I am a writer. I write to release emotions, demons, fantasies, or scenarios that keep playing out in my head. I write to answer a question that bothers me to follow it to the answer. I write because that's what writers do.

I may never get published, but if the only reason for me to write is to be published then I better do something utterly horrendous or fantastic to get there. Either way, I'm ok right here...for now.

Things I'm Geeking Out Over

Geeking out: "freaking out over something that could be considered nerdy/geeky and knowing it."
                             - Urban Dictionary


 
SMASH Pads
Don't use Urban Dictionary for looking this up. Basically they're little notepads that you can jot stuff down in and glue them into a SMASH book. I currently am still deciding on what kind of SMASH book to get, but that won't stop me from jotting things down in the meanwhile.
 

Monzuki
This blog is FABULOUS in every way I can think of. The art inspires me to create, something! It may be brilliant or it could be garbage, but it's creating something that's utterly fantastic. Check out the Alice in Wonderland post, love, love, LOVE the art work done by Michael Kutsche. The detail, the colors, the brillance and texture of the subjects. I'll save it for another post.


The Parisol Protectorate Series
I've been reading quite a lot thanks to my friend Jules and her enabling ways (she too loves the used book stores and comic book stores). I picked up the second book of the series Changeless and became enamoured with it, but found that I was missing key elements. Figured out I was reading Book 2 in a series so I set off to the local bookstore and found that I would have to go to Borders if I wanted to read Book 1 Soulless.

Here I am carrying these books with me everywhere I go. Oh Gail, what have you done to me? Read her bio if you get a chance it's amusing.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows, Part 2
Dear friends, this is where we come to the end of our journey with dear old Harry Potter. I'm going to the midnight showing (hopefully near my apt) with the roommate. I'm trying to hold back the squees I have within me, but sometimes they just eek out.

I'm excited, saddened, gleeful and morose all over the fact that this is the last Harry Potter movie. Harry's story will be finished and that's that. I do hope people dress up even if I won't be.

Right Here

I was perusing through my Facebook newsfeed when an old roommate's picture appeared and she looked so happy. Not sure what happened, but I started reminiscing quickly about the good times we've had in the past, how talented of an artist she is and I felt happier.

The feeling is almost inexpressable, other than being content. Right there, in that moment, I was happy to know every single wonderful person I know. That with every nuance of who they are, they are exactly who I like. A new thought entered and it was about how ten years ago life was chaotic emotionally for me, even five years ago.

While I may not have the job I would like, live in a posh apartment with a great view or being in a spectacular relationship with the perfect man...I'm good. I'm good, right here.

Seis de Mayo

There are holidays I don't celebrate...let's face it because I don't understand what the fuss is over. Here I compiled you a list:

• Valentine's Day
• St. Patrick's Day
• Lent (only when non-believers participate)
• Cinco de Mayo

Recently a bunch of non-Mexican folks (I'm thinking even the ones who want to deport "them illegals" back to Mexico) and some Mexican folks celebrated Cinco de Mayo. The day when mass consumption of tacos, tequilas and margaritas is considered appropriate. I call that Tuesday.

I just want people to explain to me how these three (I realize Lent is important to believers) days are more than glorified days to drink.

George Gray

I have studied many times
The marble which was chiseled for me --
A boat with a furled sail at rest in a harbor.
In truth it pictures not my destination
But my life.
For love was offered me and I shrank from its disillusionment;
Sorrow knocked at my door, but I was afraid;
Ambition called to me, but I dreaded the chances.
Yet all the while I hungered for meaning in my life.
And now I know that we must lift the sail
And catch the winds of destiny
Wherever they drive the boat.
To put meaning in one's life may end in madness,
But life without meaning is the torture
Of restlessness and vague desire --
It is a boat longing for the sea and yet afraid.

by Edgar Lee Masters

I read this poem in an email and loved it.

Netflix Gets Me

I feel very prickly today. Want a hug?

Not Now

Today would be one of those days when I sell out the human race to invading aliens. It's best to leave me alone right now.

This means that every idiot within a 3,000 mile radius will want to reach me. Good luck.